So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
