The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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