you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
