Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
