he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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