I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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