Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
