they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
