i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
