I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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