don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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