ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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