I'm drive I can fine osifer
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize