real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
