well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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