I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
