So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Randomize
