yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize