I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
