it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize