i need an iv and a liver transplant
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
