its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
