don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
