Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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