This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
