The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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