help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
