Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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