Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
