UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
