What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
