Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize