Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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