youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
