Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
