I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
