is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
