Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
