Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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