It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
pray to the hookup gods
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
