loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
