its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
How external is "for external use only"?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
