I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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