Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
