I wannas sexs uuuuu
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
