So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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