We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
