Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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