i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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