I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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