Well douche your snatch and let's go!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
