why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
