Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
