I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
