Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
