the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
