Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
