what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
