oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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