There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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