omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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