Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Found the puke drawer
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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