she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
