I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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