I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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