I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
