I look better un-naked...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
