feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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