I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
