Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
