And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's never too late to be topless.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
