I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
