Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize