my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize