Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
