Me too!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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