just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize