My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
