these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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